Hey, Catastrophe

Today I had what I can only think to describe as a mental disintegration. After a night out at Perkins from which we all returned home around 4/4:30 ish and somehow became completely and totally convinced that if I were to evaporate away nobody would notice or be concerned. What brought on this sudden vacation of my self-worth has so far eluded me but it kept me up till about 6 in the morning before I finally managed to fall into a somewhat restless sleep. And it didn't go away when I woke up. I've spent most of the day feeling hollow and useless to a degree I haven't felt for a long time.

What scared me even more than the fact that this came out of nowhere and completely blindsided me is the fact that I've gotten so used to never telling anyone anything that nobody noticed.

About the best I've felt all day was at work. It was crazy busy for a Wednesday and I made $79 in tips (blowing away my previous record of $66) and as silly as it may seem that sort of made me feel a little better.

Tomorrow I have the day off and if I don't use it for something I think I am going to go certifiably crazy.

On a lighter note, I've gotten wrapped in to Little Green Men by Christopher Buckley. I loved Thank You For Smoking so I thought I'd see what else he'd written, and I think this book may be even better. Conspiracy theories have never been funnier.