All-Access Pass

First of all: Facebook users, welcome back. I have finally recalibrated the reticulation spline with regards to the modifier conjuplexus server and now we can be friends again!

So I come to you all tonight with a moral question, inspired by my amazing boredom and reading the archived notes of Matt Perry. He noted that he felt silly after he had held open an automatic handicap-accessible door. If you are for some strange reason unfamiliar with this concept, these are doors that open on their own at the push of a button which is usually at sitting-level and have pictures of wheelchairs on them.

These doors are useful for people not only in wheelchairs, but also people in crutches, pushing carts, carrying awkward packages, or moving a body.

So here is my question: Should I feel bad about using the automatic doors just because I'm feeling lazy?

I mean, come on. It's right there. And if I don't use it, how can I be sure that it hasn't gotten jammed, and when someone who really needs it tries to use it, they're stuck because I hadn't acted? I know, I'm perfectly capable of opening it myself, but so is anyone else with the proper ambition.

I ask not just for myself, but for countless others who I have seen struggling to open one of these doors, and gazing, only for a moment, at the button that would do it for them, but then looking away in guilt and shame at having even considered it.

We all get to walk up wheelchair ramps, right? I say it's time that we opened the door for equality. The automatic door.

[[Oh man, guys, you don't even know how bored I am.]]