Meeeeh.

It's getting increasingly harder to blog because I'm getting increasingly unsure what it is exactly that I'm trying to say and why. I've never wanted this to be one of those blogs that does nothing but say what I've done, but that's the direction it's heading. (That being said, I went bowling and got three hours of sleep Saturday night. Really, I should be dead tired right now. But I'm not, 'course.) Most of the time spent posting in here is just staring at the little text box trying to think up something remotely interesting that doesn't make people want to stab me. Myself included.
So what can I say that's really worth typing? Very little. Just the same things. Bitching about lack of ambition. About other people. About loneliness. Or the old failsafe,about nothing.

It's extremely tiring and frustrating knowing that if I put any effort into it, I could probably fix all those problems and yet I don't. Why? Hell if I know. Maybe I have that fear of success thing that we spent some time on in Psychology. But I'm not sure, because I never fully grasped that concept and how it differed from fear of failure. But anyway.

I know what I need to do. What I should do. What I'd tell somebody else in my position to do. To quote Five Iron Frenzy, "I point the finger but I can't take my own advice."

I'd like more than anything to use this post to say something like, "Ok, now it ends. Now I get my ass in gear and start getting motivated." But if I said that, I'd be kidding myself, because I've said similar things and then done nothing. Several times.

There's one of those tiny flies flying around my laptop. He's driving me insane here.

On the bright side, I at least have the ambition to stop whining. On to bigger and better topics.

I got Crimson Skies today. After playing the X-Box demo, I figured the computer game was worth checking out, since I don't have an XBox.

Oooh. Kamikaze. Love this song. Fits the starter of my post perfectly.

Returning to the game. It's a pretty fun game. Not an extremely realistic flight sim, but yet not completely unbelievable (with the possible exception of some of the planes--they're odd. Cool, but odd.) It's kinda tough (or I just suck at it) but I like it, 'specially the lame comments and stuff. "When you hit the ground, say that Zachary sent you!" That kinda stuff. Tho' it is supposed to take place in 1937.

And bowling Saturday I got a 171, best score I've ever gotten. Not a huge achievement, but at least it's something.

This blog post has a hella good soundtrack to it.

Music:
Calm Like a Bomb - Rage Against the Machine
Thinking of You - Student Rick
In The End - Linkin Park
One Late Night - Default
Every Day Is A Winding Road - Sheryl Crow
Kamikaze - Five Iron Frenzy
So Far Away - Staind